Thursday, December 21, 2006

T Minus 4 Days and Counting!

I apologize for the lateness in posting today's dispatches. My PTSD flared up after I ate a Christmas cookie which wasn't that good. You know one of those half green and half pink ones? It was stale.

At any rate, the other problem I have is the large numbers of people taking delight in destroying Christmas and trampling on the hopes and dreams of little children as if those hopes and dreams were just so many mudpuddles to splash around in. The giraffes above are just one example. In this photo, there are eagerly dismantling a Christmas tree with their only weapon - their tongues. Here's another example. "Cuttlefish" took great pains to create toy soldier Christmas ornaments for his/her/its tree so it looks like the toy soldiers are shooting at the Christmas ornaments. When will this madness end? Isn't it enough that we have a War on Christmas?! We don't need a War on Christmas Ornaments!

Fortunately, we have a whole family of Christmas warriors on our side. Coincidentally named "Christmas", these lovely people are the force for good which got me out of the medic's tent and back onto the front lines of the War! And this building is happily swarming with Santas (even though I don't like the word "attack" used in conjunction with such a jolly sight)!

Finally, even Godless atheistic Vietnam is celebrating Christmas! It's victories such as this that give me the will to keep on fighting! The rest of the dispatches are the usual mix of good and bad. It's really hard to tell who is winning the War, which is why I keep getting these periodic nervous breakdowns. For example:

- These Christmas Warriors are on the attack, but Santa's been arrested and sent to Gitmo!!
- The Virgin Mary appears on a tree as if by magic, but then Santa gets pelted with mince pies in Britian!

The whole list of dispatches is like that!
- Over the top decorations!
- Jesus not made the King of Poland:
- Thousands of Santas gather in Moscow,
- a Nativity scene in Italy is desecrated!

Finally, we have video evidence that Santa may just be trying to brainwash us or something! Please tell me there is hope for Christmas this year. Please?


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