The Newest Dispatches:

-The President says the War on Christmas is going quite well and we are to stay the course!
-These evil cats are fighting on the wrong side in the war!
- Chicago's Chinatown kicks off Asian week with a Christmas party!
- This guy thinks an armistice has been declared! HA!
- Buckinghamshire County Council denied the request of All Saints' Church in High Wycombe to display a poster listing publicizing its Christmas services in the town's library.
- Hypocrite! British Home Secretary Reid doesn't have "Merry Christmas" on his cards!!
- A Scrooge-like letter from Charles Dickens is up for auction. Dickens goes on the Naughty List (retroactively)!